Almost a year ago, we hosted a neighborhood party, after which we had a surplus of beer. Rather than drink it like a normal red blooded American man, my husband decided he would use it as target practice with his pellet gun. He collected the extra cans in a plastic milk crate in the corner of the yard and would set each can up on a cinder block to take a shot at it. He and a few of the neighbor men had a fun testosterone-pumpin’ time until they grew bored and went home for dinner. That was in June of 2006.
As spring dawned in 2007, I began to pester my husband about the appearance of the cinder block and the milk crate of year old beer in our yard. I accused him of diminishing the property value of our home and annoying our neighbors. Our last conversation on the subject was last night when several of the neighbors gathered out front after children were in bed to celebrate the warm weather with a cocktail.
Today, being Earth Day and all, I deployed our children to play in the yard rather than sit in front of the television like zombies. Good Mommy, right? Noting how beautiful it is outside, I also thought it would be a good opportunity to get out the camera and practice taking some pictures of the blooms on our trees. Below you will see some pictures of the blossoms on our apple tree.
Pretty, no? Such lovely peaceful thoughts I was having about spring and what a beautiful time it is… then I hear it. Giggle, giggle… whisper, whisper. I look around and find that my two oldest children are in the corner of the yard. I peek around the tree with my camera just in time to catch my son cracking open his very first beer. Oh, what a monumental day.
But where is my precious girl? Oh, there she is. She already has hers open and is busy "fertilizing" the lawn. Lucky me.
Please note the beer dripping down her arm. Ah, the sweet perfume of youth. However, I thought it would be about 16 more years before I’d smell that scent on her…
As I continue to pretend to shoot pictures of the tree, these are the next things I see. He is "watering" the lawn and she is dancing in the foam.
After he is dry, she begins to take over the lawn watering project while Dear Son goes to reload. Sadly, you can’t see the beautiful lawn ornamentation of the cinder block. It’s behind the tree.
Now, surely, my sweet baby is not effected by all this nonsense. Where is that sweet toddler?
And what two things must a manly boy take with him when he leaves the sandbox a few moments later?
His truck and his beer. Oh, that’s my boy. After my moment of pride, I look to find my middle baby playing with a mixture of beer and sand in the "trunk" of his Little Tykes tot car. I’m pretty sure that is not what the designer had in mind.
As with most of the parties I attended in my youth, this is what the scene looked like as the beer supply ran out.
Each picture has about four or five empty beer cans littering the yard. In addition there are at least four or five more not pictured. The good news is, Dear Husband has to pick up the beer cans before he mows next! When the cinder block and the milk crate will disappear are any man’s bet.
I’m so proud.
